apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
its not stalking. its research.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
