Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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