Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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