Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
