I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
