The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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