He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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