They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
