Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
