she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
