Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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