Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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