Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
