I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Im part way to drunk.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
