i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
