last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
