the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
