she was so not down for the gang bang
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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