We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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