does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
