So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
