Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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