Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
