I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
