They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize