Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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