eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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