I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
