Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
