She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
