Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
