I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
whose parrot is this?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
