he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
