you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
