no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
