Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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