Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
