Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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