I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
