she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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