Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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