Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
