I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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