This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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