her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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