i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
