then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
