Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize