batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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