oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
