I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
