i jhust puked up my retainher.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
