cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
