I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
