Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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