no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize