May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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