Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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