actually, I'm a sock model
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize